2) As a bearded man, should I be offended that whenever someone’s down in the dumps in a Hollywood movie, they grow a beard?
3) It’s ironic that a movie about turning back time is a complete waste of time
4) I was told this is a different kind of Marvel movie, and that’s true to some extent: it’s painfully unfunny and relatively short (though still almost 2 hours)
5) The plot in a nutshell: a privileged white man gets hurt, travels to Asia, and is healed by some mysterious guru whose previous student went rogue — The Dark Knight Rises anyone?
6) I’d like Hollywood to cast Mads Mikkelson in a non-villain role for once, because his performance in the Danish film Jagten (The Hunt) was riveting
7) Mikkelson’s character steals a spell from the library that allows him to open up the space-time continuum and become immortal — which turns out to be another spell that Dr. Strange finds in that same library. So this entire movie could have been prevented if Mikkelson had known how to do a proper library search
8) I was told this was a “smart” Marvel movie. Sure enough: there were so many plot holes and inconsistencies, the whole thing was pretty much incomprehensible. My grandma used to tell me a fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer, meaning: Profound stupidity is its own kind of smartness
9) Where were all the women? I think I only saw Rachel McAdams zip by somewhere and Tilda Swinton, who was made to look like an oversized newborn baby
10) The visuals are so good and the script so bad, this movie would actually be improved if you watched it on mute